marlene mountain
letter essay
march 1990

 

treading water

dear jan 3/19/90

Very good to hear from you. I was kind of worried. But I know what it's like to be tired, and letterwriting is so inadequate. Sure wish you could come for another visit. That would be fun. Hal sent your money long time ago. I wish I knew what book/s to get for you. Did you have any luck with the bookstore you mentioned?

After the croning I got a will-this-ever-end cold (sort of mild tho) and got into boxes back of my son's closet and found lots of old writings, both haiku (from 1969) and stuff about my painting confusions/questionings (from 1962). Many things I don't even remember writing or thinking. Strange to relive; and to be a herstorian to my young self. Got to thinking about putting out 3-4 volumes of the haiku stuff (essays, visual, one-line, sequences, dadaku, tear outs, picturepoems etc). Quite a journey from the oneness garbage to crone. I believe it would be 'something!' But several times burned with printers--and the tons of material--makes it too difficult I think. Plus there's lots of anger etc that the 'sensitive' haiku people wouldn't understand. Then we got an early spring and I sort of dropped it and plunged into yard work.

Have been looking into copiers a little. Have dreamed of having one for years. Maybe I'll borrow on my son's C. of Dep. and do it. Perhaps it could help me organize the non-book. It's awful not to have money in order to move forward. I feel like I'm treading water. [         ] Can you share your interesting self with relatives? What I really need is an 'editor' of some sort. Jane Reichhold is interested in doing a book, but really doesn't want to wade through the typing of the essays (don't blame her). I'm trying to talk Adele into coming for a week or so to help (but she's not feeling well). It's a lot to ask someone to drop her stuff and get into another's.

My health pretty good--at night I get weird feelings/ burnings in my legs/feet. I don't like!! But so far nothing bad.

My painting series (chaoscoswommos) on hold because of the old writings and wanting to be outside all the time till I'm exhausted. And I've not been writing. I watch tv at night so as not to think, not to get too involved (stress)--but still I worryfretstew.

Take care of yourself--Important! I believe in you: very much!!! And appreciate your writing. Your links are wonderful.

will the compassionate crying of a crone help others [jb]

 

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